This is a transcript of a video that I posted on social media earlier today. If you would prefer to view the video, which is only 4 minutes in length, click here now (or press the play button if you can see an image immediately below).
Many of you know me as the self-help author turned novelist Peter Jones.
What most of you don’t know is that over the past year or so I have taken on a number of other – let’s call them positions – in order to support myself. Some of these ‘jobs’ have been somewhat unusual, and most have required me to tight-lipped about what I get up to in my non-writing hours.
But no more.
The time has come for me to tell the truth, to expose those who should know better.
Before I turned writer I was involved with a small theatre company, and during that time I developed quite a talent for characterisation & costume, impersonation and disguise.
It’s these remarkable skills that I’ve been peddling to certain individuals, often the rich and the famous, whenever they were too busy or just too idle to appear in person.
Let me take a moment to show you what i mean…
Here’s the actor Hugh Grant as he attends yet another film premier. But I think, in light of what i just told you, you can begin to get a sense that something isn’t quite right, that Hugh seems a little different somehow – and that is of course because it’s not Hugh. It’s me. A pair of black rimmed spectacles completing the costume.
Now different day, different role, but again, I think you can probably tell, when you look closely, that it isn’t the actor James Macavoy… but yours truly.
Playing James again, this time trying not to be distracted by Keira Knightly’s erm… By Keira Knightly.
And again, this time with a life sized hand puppet of the actor Michael Fassbender.
Me again. This time standing in for the actress and singer Rita Ora. Probably one of my most demanding roles to date. Particularly as it was such a cold day.
Another role… that costume was particularly ticklish…
Oh and er, yes, not quite sure how this once slipped in, but here I am again. Possibly not so clear which of these two famous people i’m standing in for but if we pan back slightly…
Yes, there i am. Still trying to pass Kylie Minogue a copy of my last novel.
Needless to say, I’m not proud myself, and I hope you can forgive me for helping facilitate this deceit and for plunging to such depths. It’s a tough life being an author, but really, that’s no excuse for my behaviour.
You can help of course.
It just so happens that this week I have a new novel out!
THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS CHARMING MAN Is the witty tale of a struggling actor and the extraordinary lengths he goes to… for the woman he loves.
It’s out now in paperback, and for whatever device your currently using to view this blog – and it’s only a couple of quid. Just click here. Go on. Help out a struggling author.
In the meantime, please help me apologise to your friends by SHARING the video at the top of this blog post on facebook, twitter, or your social media outlet of choice. Though now that you know what I’ve been up to, you might start to see some of them in a new light.