Peter Jones – Author & Public Speaker

Official blog & website

Behold the Balloon Jesus!

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Ok, settle down, settle down please – before you start drafting strongly worded letters  of complaint to your local MP, or worse still phoning the Daily Mail, Balloon Jesus was commissioned by a client for a colleague who was being ordained.

Yes. You read that correctly. The Church of England is amongst my client base. So put that in your balloon pipe and smoke it (important note: our balloons are not fire resistant).

I must confess I did have reservations about Balloon Jesus. I said it as a joke – and I freely admit that maybe, in retrospect, it was pushing the boundaries of good taste – but when the client clapped for glee and pronounced that “that would be brilliant” I was a little taken back.

“Oh. Well – should I put him.. on a cross?” I murmured.

“Can he sort of have his arms open, in a welcoming gesture?” she asked after a moments thought.

“Sure, I can do that,” I said, and then, gathering a little more confidence; “I suppose a cross would be a little tricky difficult. I mean – Balloons and nails don’t really mix.” Silence. “So, er, yeah, a welcoming gesture – no problem.”

So here he is then. Welcoming Gesture and all.

Next week: Balloon nails!

Written on behalf of the Balloon Baboon for her blog – published June 2010


Author: Peter Jones

Peter Jones started professional life as a particularly rubbish graphic designer, followed by a stint as a mediocre petrol pump attendant. After that he got embroiled in the murky world of credit card banking. Fun times.   Nowadays, Peter spends his days writing, or talking about writing. He’s written three novels; a Rom-Com (Romantic Comedy), A Crim-Com (Crime Comedy), and a Rom-Com-Ding-Dong (A sort-of Romantic-ish Comedy, with attitude). He’s currently working on his fourth novel, which - if it’s a musical - he’ll no doubt describe as a Rom-Com-Sing-Song. (Spoiler: It isn’t).   He is also the author of three and a half popular self-help books on the subjects of happiness, staying slim and dating. If you’re overweight, lonely, or unhappy – he’s your guy.   Peter doesn’t own a large departmental store and probably isn’t the same guy you’ve seen on the TV show Dragons’ Den.  

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