Don't Wait – things my wife might say to God, exactly 39 months after the day we met.




Dear God,

Firstly, I suppose I should tell you that I don’t believe in you.
That’s got that out of the way.
I hope it’s not going to be a problem between us.

The thing is, I died.
Earlier than I would have liked, if I’m honest.
For whilst it was always my intention to get around to it eventually,
there were a few things I would have liked to have done first.

For starters, I’d made so many new friends.
There are so many more people in my life than there were before.
And I was kind of getting used to that.
I would have liked to have seen them a bit more.
I’d always assumed that I would.

Also, despite my self confessed lack of faith
I became a God Mother.
To two little people
who’d never known a life without me in it.
Making those vows,
using your words,
in your house,
was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
But I did it
For the first time in my life I was
and that meant so much to me.
Couldn’t you have let me keep those promises a little longer?

Being an aunt made me rethink the whole
“kids thing”.
Like – “perhaps I might like a couple of my own”.
And – “perhaps I might have actually made quite a good mother”.
If only I’d had the chance.

And whilst I’m pouring out my heart
I need to mention
the books.
Have you any idea how many books there are that need to be read?
That was a lot of work right there!
I had only just gotten started!

And let’s not forget the mountain of “chocolate” –
don’t get me started on that missed opportunity!

And, oh yes..
I got married.
To my best friend.
And though, at times, it wasn’t easy,
I always knew that I’d found my soul mate.

Which, I might add, is pretty amazing for someone who doesn’t,
believe in “souls”.

And God,
we were really just getting to the good bit.
The really good bit.

We had so many plans.
Some of them were bonkers of course.
Some of them made the aforementioned friends look at us in strange ways.
But they were our plans.
Me, and Peter’s.
Doing a few more of them would have been nice.

So with all this in mind, I think you owe me.
Peter would be the first to tell me that “having one over on God” isn’t a popular idea in most major world religions,
but as you didn’t really give me long enough to upgrade from atheist to – say – agnostic,
I think you can cut me some slack.

I want to pass on a message.
And I’d like to do it without the aid of some gypsy woman whooping and wailing and talking about “a presence”.

I need to let people know,
that they don’t get long.
As in, they don’t get long enough.
And that if they have anything that they need to say
Or something they need to do
That they should say it now
Or do it now


Not later.
Don’t wait.


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